Pictures Of You
by HamburgerWithTea
Summary: Alfred looks at pictures. The pictures he made of Arthur. They remember him of the last day he saw the green eyed man. AU, ONESHOT, Onesided?USUK, Inspiration from Pictures of You by The Cure. T for tragic stuff


nonbeta

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><p><strong>Pictures of You<strong>

Oneshot

_By HamburgerWithTea_

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><p>The song I based this after; watch?v=aNBJ1rBAlN8 (paste this after the youtube homepage in your address bar.)

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><p><em>Alfred looked at the pictures in front of him. The ones that contained Arthur. Sometimes there was Alfred standing next to him, sometimes it was someone else. <em>

_It didn't matter. Not anymore._

_Oh how he lounged to go back in time, back to the moment he took that one last picture of the boy he loved…_

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><p>It had been a bright day, full of sunshine and nice people, but it had all changed after dawn.<p>

Arthur had called him, sounding ready to burst into tears as he tried to ask Alfred to come and see him at the so called 'star rock'.

It was the name Arthur and Alfred had made up for the small piece of rock sticking out over the town's channel. They'd called it like that as kids, not knowing a better name, after spending nights watching the stars and talking, fantasizing, dreaming…

They'd been friends for almost all of their lives.

Arthur had moved in next to his house after his parents had moved from the UK to the States. He had been a bit shy at the start, but after Alfred had shown him the beautiful spot on the piece of rock, he had soon opened up and they became best friends.

Arthur had said he wanted to become an editor, always being interested in books, while Alfred admitted he wanted to become a photographer.

Alfred would always take his camera with him, as the years passed his cheap camera was traded for a high-tech digital one, but the pictures still contained the same boy; Arthur.

Around high school Alfred had started to notice how he slowly developed feelings for Arthur. He finally understood why he always enjoyed making pictured of Arthur the best, and would take them any time he had the chance. Even the time he'd tell Arthur about his feelings.

They had been laying on the grass on the star rock, watching the stars and the bright moon, as Alfred had silently admitted he was gay for someone. He didn't have to courage to admit it was Arthur, so he decided to just stick with 'someone'.

Arthur hadn't said anything mocking, despite what Alfred feared for a small second when he was silent, but as soon as Arthur had started talking Alfred had felt his heart enlighten.

Arthur had said he was too, probably. He also didn't say who, but Alfred could feel a small piece of hope develop in his heart.

It had been a few months later that Arthur had said who he liked though.

The moment he did so, Alfred felt how the, by then, huge piece of hope was smashed as he heard the name.

It wasn't his name; it was the name of a boy a class higher than Arthur's.

Alfred had said he was happy for him, that he would support Arthur to confess to the boy, since that's what a hero would do, right?

The more he helped out, the more his heart started aching, but at the same time he could feel how he didn't want to stop Arthur either; he'd decided that even if it meant giving Arthur to someone else, he'd be okay with it as long as Arthur was happy.

Arthur kept his crush secret though, only Alfred knew, and a few more years passed.

In these years Alfred had dated several girls, assuring Arthur that guy he loved was just a small crush he had had, but none of the relationships turned out. The girls seemed to notice he couldn't fully give them his heart.

Arthur, though, still loved the boy from one class up, and on the day of the boy's graduation he'd confessed.

The Briton had been so happy to tell Alfred how the boy had told him he felt the same about Arthur and that they had now become a couple.

Alfred felt a painful stab in his heart though, but he decided to not show. He should not dwell on it; Arthur was happy, and that's what mattered.

The times they would meet at the star rock became less and less as the years passed, both of them living their own lives; Arthur with his new boyfriend who he still loved as much as before, and Alfred having a few dates but nothing working out.

By now Arthur had moved away from the town they had lived in; he'd started living in a flat together with his long-time boyfriend in the nearby city to live closer to his job.

It had been a few more years of happiness and Alfred would sometimes wonder if Arthur ever even thought about his childhood friend.

At first Arthur had visited him on birthdays, and Alfred did the same, but over the last two years they had only written small postcards and birthday cards to each other. They both had their own lives, and Arthur had become busy with his job; he'd gotten quite a good share of promotions after all his work. He really was a good employee after all.

But it had to be this night, at late summer, as the days had started to get shorter again, that Arthur had called him. Called him to meet at the star rock.

Alfred had been wondering why, but didn't question the male on the other side of the phone. Instead he said he'd be there and that he'd wait for Arthur all night.

But he didn't had to wait all night.

He had been laying in the grass for only half an hour until he could hear a car stop and someone stepping out of the car. The steps got closer, and in silence someone laid down next to him.

They hadn't talked for at least fifteen minutes, but Alfred could hear Arthur sob quietly.

"…Yo," Alfred had said. He had planned to say more, but he didn't really know what. Lucky for him, Arthur spoke up.

"Hey," Arthur had replied, and it was only then that Alfred turned his head to the side to see Arthur, real life Arthur, laying next to him.

He had bags under his eyes, his face was wet from tears and he was still making small noises of sobbing.

Without much hesitation Alfred turned his body as well, only to hug the smaller man close to him. He seemed like he needed it.

"What happened?" Alfred had asked, and a few more minutes after that passed before Arthur had figured out what he wanted to say.

"…He cheated on me," he whispered, and Alfred could feel how his own heart ached at the sound of Arthur's sad voice. "All these years I loved him, and for all this time he cheated on me!" Arthur now spoke up louder.

Alfred kept silent, but decided to stroke Arthur's hair to calm him down.

Arthur had told him what happened; after he'd confessed his love to the guy at the day of graduation, the man had immediately agreed on them dating. For all these years Arthur had loved him, gave up everything he could to stay with the man and tolerate everything only to keep the man close to him. But in the end he seemed to have cheated on him with a woman he'd met at college. He'd only used Arthur to get money from his wealthy parents and good job, while loving someone else.

Arthur had only noticed now, after all these years, by walking in on them making out.

At first he hadn't believed what he saw, but after his 'boyfriend' had told him how he loved someone else and how he meant to break up any time soon so the woman an he could marry, Arthur's heart broke.

Arthur hadn't even talked to the man, he'd just left the flat and dialled Alfred; the only man on earth he could fully trust.

Arthur would cry while telling it all, sometimes yell at how unfair life was, how stupid he'd been to ever even trust this guy, and how much he hated his own heart for falling from him.

He'd screamed, laughed, cried. He'd shown every state of despair.

By the time Arthur was done telling his story, the sky had broken open and the dark clouds had started to pour rain all over the town.

The rain washed Arthur's tears away, but Alfred could see he was still crying.

He didn't know what to say, he couldn't find the right words; whenever he wanted to, he just stopped and decided it was no use. Instead he just hugged the smaller man close.

Arthur had started to hug him back, at one point he decided to stand up.

They watched over the channel as the rain kept pouring down, blurring the lights of the town on the other side.

They just stood there, loss of words, not making a sound. That was until Alfred asked something.

"Can I take a picture of you?" he asked. Arthur turned his head, his green eyes shimmering with tears that hadn't fallen yet; his white skin looking like freshly fallen snow, and his hair sticking to his forehead. He gave an almost invisible nod.

Alfred slowly took his camera, not sure if the device could even capture the pure sadness of this moment, and as the camera took that one picture, he could see how a small grin formed on Arthur's lips right after.

Alfred had put away his camera again, making sure it wouldn't get damaged by the rain. As he looked up, he could see a quick flash of green before a wet, ice cold feeling spread through his lips.

Arthur was kissing him, and Alfred didn't know what to do. He just returned the kiss.

It was a kiss that took only seconds, yet they seemed hours, weeks, years even.

As Arthur moved away, Alfred could take a proper look at his emerald eyes; they showed sadness, despair and they had lost some of their bright glimmer.

Alfred wanted to reach out, embrace the deepest, saddest feeling of the man in front of him; hug it until it got back to the strong, determent men he once was.

"At least I can trust you." Arthur had said. Alfred just looked back into the green eyes.

"Let's get back to the car," the American eventually suggested, "We're soaked and I don't wanna catch a cold. You can stay over at my place,"

"Yes," Arthur whispered "That'd be lovely." His averted his gaze, now looking back to the lights at the other side of the channel, and then towards the car.

Alfred turned around, ready to walk to the car as he could hear one more yell.

It was a yell Alfred would never forget, as he could see the man he'd held close just a few seconds ago, run up to the edge of the rock, screaming at the sky, a the stars they both loved so much ever since childhood.

That'd be the last thing Alfred would ever hear Arthur say as he could see him jump off the cliff; not having any fear, not having anything restrain him from doing so.

Alfred watched in shock, not sure what to do. He tried to run, grab the man's hand, sleeve, _anything__._ But it was too late.

He could see how Arthur's beautifully soft body started to drop down, into the channel. His limbs being weightless; it was as if an angel fell down. The most beautiful angel Alfred had ever seen, yet having the saddest expression on his face as green and blue eyes looked straight at each other, until the green ones disappeared in the depth of the water.

Everything after that moment was a blur.

Alfred had screamed so loud some people living nearby had come to look, and as they found Alfred they'd called 911.

Arthur's body was found three days later; his beautiful, pale skin an unhealthy colour, his slim body swollen by water and his green eyes closed peacefully. He really was an angel now.

The funeral had been awkward. Alfred hadn't shed a tear, filled with way too much sadness to cry it all out, and nobody cared for him. Arthur's parents had given him a small nod as a greeting, but people were too sad to bother with someone else's feelings.

The guy who drove Arthur to this madness didn't even attend it all. He'd just moved away with his new wife without even sending a letter. Alfred would never forgive the guy.

At the time of the funeral it'd been snowing. First the sky was clear, but as the casket was slowly lift into the ground, the snow had started; ignoring all laws people had made up about seasons.

The pale, white, soft snow. The snow that resembled Arthur's cold skin the moment they had kissed, right before Arthur had jumped.

Alfred would think about it every time he saw the picture. The last picture of Arthur. That _one_picture.

It's been years since then.

Alfred had never been to the star rock ever again, he was sure he'd experience the whole thing all over again.

Instead he just looked at the photographs before him. The ones he'd kept well over all these years, in a small picture book named 'Arthur'.

He'd sorted the photos by date, wrote a few small words or sentences with them, having it as a personal memoriam to that one blond angel who he loved even after his death.

He gently stretched out a hand to touch the picture, the last one in the book. The one taken at the night Arthur jumped, the one showing full despair and the one remembering him of the kiss.

Alfred wished he'd go back in time, wished he'd said the right words back then, wished he'd kept Arthur close so he couldn't have jumped.

But it was too late now.

The eyes that looked back at him from the pictures in front of him were nothing more than a bit of ink on paper. They weren't there anymore.

All the reality that was left were memories and pictures.

Pictures of Arthur.

"Pictures of you." He mumbled.

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><p><em>Author's Note/_

_I don't even know how I came up with this! Wrote it in one and a half hour, after listening to Pictures of You by The Cure._

_I couldn't help but think of a story like this. It's somewhat based after the lyrics of the song, but I'm sure I added a few things of my own fantasies._

_Wow my first tragedy story. But it felt good writing this._

_I do not own Hetalia or the characters, those belong to their rightful (awesome) creator, Hidekaz Himaruya!_

_Also I do not own the song._

_(10/23/11)_


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